do (not) know

i just do not know,
what to feel,
what to think,
what to ask,
what to answer,
what to say,
and what to write.

but i know,
am not allowed to be tired because nobody can help me,
but me.

a woman to be

hari ini blogger profile gw berubah. "a woman to be. still finding a way to maturity." semoga pelanpelan gw bisa mengubah image "si ulan bocah ajaib yang masih sangat bocah".
ya.. umur gw sudah duadua. *seneng sekaligus sedih.

feel like tired [01:00 am]

that's a distinct line that obscure me to reach you.
it's so thin till you think it's nothing.
no.
it's something.
not as thin as it seem.

gosh, it's not about the place you are at.
i really wanna be there. anywhere with you. i think you should know.
but then, that line, your 'another us', thank you.
you make me disable to reach you.

givin up?
just feel like i wont ever able to deal with that line.

and i'll be at my level, as long as the line's there.
whether it's safe or not (to be there).
and you may just dont care.

am sorry for this obstinacy.
do you still wanna marry this stubborn lady?


credit : artista [pic]

malam yang geje

whua...kangennya sama masamasa bikin skripsiii...
bengongbengong sambil nunggu mulai kerja bikin gw setengah edun. mau ambil course atau beraktivitas juga serba tanggung.

well, actually banyak banget yg pengen gw ceritain, cuma kayanya otak gw lg ga jalan. semuanya terlalu abstrak untuk dituliskan. pilihanpilihan kerjaan, rasa sentimen karena harus pindahan, harapan orangorang, dan (masih) susahnya menyelaraskan logika dengan perasaan. waktuwaktu idle yg bikin bosen dan (makin) kangen.
bukan sama skripsi, tapi sama kamu. iya, kamu. masa nelayan di laut biru?!
kamu yg manipulatif, rese, ngeselin, tapi lucu. kamu yang bisa bikin seneng dan sedih di satu waktu. kamu yg bikin kangen mulu.
hm...but you know why i still too lazy to couldnt reach you. dan pindah ke tempat saya bukan solusi, tuan. hff.. hope we're getting wiser to make decisions. iya. kita. saya. atau kamu. atau saya dan kamu. secepatnya. sebelum ada terbitan luka harian kaya koran.

ya..ya..tulisan saya malam ini memang geje. menulis saat galau gundah gulana tiada tara memang bisa membingungkan pembaca. tak pergi tidur aja yaaa.. selamat malam!


*geje = ga jelas

untitled

"if you love until hurt, there will be no more hurt, only more love."

remember?

and i will (always) love you. until hurt. :p